Happy New Year! Silence Is Golden!

2012 is off to a quiet start.

Along with my usual New Year ritual of 're-thinking', 're-evaluating', 'de-cluttering' and 'organizing' I'm getting to evaluate the benefits of 'silence'. I've been without a voice (as in laryngitis) for over a week now. I know what you're thinking.....so yes - Mike is jumping up and down in elation! Ha!

I'm trying to keep a good perspective and I am thankful I still have fingers that work and I have the ability to type, email, text message and write! My sign language is limited so three cheers for technology!

It's amazing how 'routine' certain activities become in our life and how we take the smallest of things for granted. Habits run deep. Like pulling into a drive-thru and then getting to the order box and realizing.... 'Ummmm, I can't talk' (well, isn't this embarrassing!)

You get creative and inventive REAL fast when your normal means of communicating is hampered in some way.

Each morning I get up and let the dogs out for their morning "constitution" - but just like kids they can't be left to their own for too long else they'll be into mischief in no time. After a few minutes I usually go to the door and holler their names to come in. Ummmm...didn't happen this week. Good thing I can whistle! My dogs aren't familiar with sign language! Ha!

On a more serious side tho' this brief vocal set back has made me stop and pay greater attention to what is going on around me. It isn't always necessary to fill every moment with noise. I caught myself on many occasion wanting to quickly jump into a conversation to add my two cents worth (but of course couldn't) and it's made me think twice about whether or not what I might add is really necessary. Sometimes it's just better to let the other person be 'right' (even if they aren't) and just sit back, smile, nod in acknowledgement when appropriate, and let them have the last word. Sometimes, and I'm sure you can relate, I meet someone that I can barely resist the urge to tell them to shut the "H" up!! But alas...I do.

I was prompted during one of my meditation moments this week of the verse in Ephesians that 'speaks about' (no pun intended...hehe) what kind of 'talk' should come out of our mouth.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is…1) helpful for building others up…2) according to their needs, that it may... 3) benefit those who listen"

Wow! what a GREAT reminder!!

I may not have a voice to speak, but I have eyes to see and ears to hear! Time to engage those senses a little more!

But since I haven't been able to talk much I've been paying more attention to others. Why is it that people seem so uncomfortable with the idea of 'silence', especially when they are around other people? Some people just have to talk! It doesn't seem to matter how meaningless the conversation is! Then there are those that escape into their iPod/iPhone/iPad - as if they are escaping from the present silence somehow. Not!

Whatever happened to just enjoying other people's company quietly relaxing, without guilt, and just 'be'? How come we feel the urge to some how 'fill the void' of quiet with music, stupid tidbits of nothingness from our lives? Some can't resist the opportunity to tout their ability to rule the conversation with their expertise and plethora of wisdom. My grandson said it best one day while we were watching TV..."Gramma, I think that man is just talking out his butt". Humorous coming out of a 4 year old's mouth - but all too true of many people!

Being quiet, silent or what have you, doesn't have to be a meditative experience - if you just discipline yourself - it can be actually quite fun! Is your life so filled with 'white noise' (TV, radio, iPod, meaningless banter from friends/family) that you miss out on what really matters? Speechlessness isn't something that only can be practiced as some spiritual ritual or only when you're alone. It can be a very comforting experience. Even relaxing.

When was the last time you heard the winter wind, the whistle of spring birdsong or even what your kids are REALLY trying to say to you? The old saying "Silence is golden" has some truth to it. Listening is just as important, if not more, than talking. It's funny to watch people's response to my 'whispering' - They originally begin their speech talking in a normal volume and when I 'whisper' a response...they then 'whisper' back! Hilarious. I guess it must be an automatic behavioral response or something.

The antibiotics I was given by the Dr. will only address the sinus and upper respiratory infection I acquired - the only remedy for my vocal condition is, well - the 'silent treatment'. I've tried the lemon and honey with warm water, the salt gargle and even a shot of tequila! No dice. The 'life prescription' I've received has far more value to it and I intend to enter this New Year with a keener sense of value of silence and being mindful of the words that do eventually leave my mouth.

That's it for this week. The rest of my life is status-quo, which is a good thing. Silence is something you can share, it can be very comforting. Try it some time!

Recuperation

Croupy cough. Body aches. Blahs. What a way to wrap up the holidays. Ugh. Recuperation is important and the body has a way of bringing us down a notch and reminding us it's time to recharge.

Today I'm doing just that. Thinking. Resting. Drinking fluids. Praying. As I was doing the latter I really felt my 'prayers' needed some 'refreshing' as well.

I came across an article in the December 2011 Good Housekeeping magazine that was very apropos.

10 Prayers to Carry You Through (the holidays) by Karen McColl


1. GIVE ME SIMPLICITY - A prayer you'll never forget

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is "thank you", it will be enough. - Meisrer Eckhart

2. GIVE ME OPEN EYES - A prayer for Thanksgiving

"For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, For love and friends, For everything They goodness sends." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

3. GIVE ME A BREAK! - A morning prayer for the utterly exhausted

"God grant me the power to get out of the shower!" - Monica Sheehan, from Prayers for All Occasions

4. GIVE ME WARMTH - A Winter prayer

For all warm things of this season I thank you, Lord.
For the warmth of my house as I come in cold from shopping.
For the fragrant warmth of my kitchen as I turn o the oven and sift and measure and stir and bake. For the snug warmth of the bedrooms where (finally, after much commotion) my children sleep.
For the warmth of this cup of steaming coffee in my hand as I settle down (exhausted, and at last) before the fire that dances so warm and festive on the grate.
And for warm clothes, Lord. These slippers, this robe-all the untidy closets bursting. That car coat tossed across a chair. And the car itself, a warm car to take us places (once we get it started). An those warm places: the homes of neighbors, friends, a warm church to worship in.
And the warm people there. The warm smiles and greetings.
The generosity and kindness of people everywhere.

I am full of this warmth, Lord. It comforts me, it calms me.
It makes me feel a glow almost as rosy as the embers in the fireplace.
I want all people to be warm and rested and at peace.

Thank you for this blessed season of warmth in the midst of so much that is chill and stormy. Let it draw all of us together against the coming cold. - "For All Warm Things," Marjorie Holmes, from Hold Me Up a Little Longer, Lord

6. GIVE ME JOY - A don't take it all so seriously prayer

Give us a sense of humor, Lord, and also things to laugh about. Guve us the grace to take a joke against ourselves, and to see the funny side of the things we do. Save us from annoyance, bad temper, resentfulness against our friends. Help us to laugh even in the face of trouble. Fill our minds with the love of Jesus; for his name's sake. - A.G. Bullivant

7. GIVE ME FAITH - A prayer for control freaks

"If you put your whole trust in God, as you ought, He most certainly will give you sustenance, as He doth the birds; they come out hungry in the morning but return full to their nests." - the prophet Muhammad

8. GIVE ME PERSEVERANCE - "Anyway: The Paradoxical Commandments" - a prayer that's inspired everyone from Mother Teresa to Martina McBride

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway. - Kent M. Keith, Ed.D.

9. GIVE ME OPTIMISM - A prayer for the ability to choose the sunny side of the street

Whatsoever things are true,
Whatsoever things are honest,
Whatsoever things are just,
Whatsoever things are pure,
Whatsoever things are lovely,
Whatsoever things are of good report;
If there by any virtue,
And if there they be any praise,
Think on these things.
-Philippians 4:8, the Bible, King James Version

10. GIVE ME THE GRACE OF A SILENT NIGHT - A prayer for our dearest unspoken dreams and desires

"I still think that the prayer without words is best" - C.S. Lewis

MERRY CHRISTMAS - 2011

Awake before daylight. Tree lights on. Coffee made (hazelnut). Pets put out for their morning 'constitution' and fed. "Silent night" is playing. Fire in the fireplace. Bacon in the skillet. Definitely a serene moment.

"...all is calm, all is bright"...

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

FIFTY IS...

I saw this greeting card in the Hallmark aisle at RiteAid and it was another confirmation and affirmation of my Year of Jubilee celebration.

FIFTY IS...Fascinating
FIFTY IS...Freedom and Fun
FIFTY IS...Focused and Fulfilling
FIFTY IS...Following New Dreams
FIFTY IS...Fearless

I turned fifty this year! Yes - 50! I can't believe how fast time has gone. My mother had dropped an intriguing 'bug' in my ear once as I approached my birthday saying "It's your Year of Jubilee" - I asked her "what's that" and she gave me a short re-cap of the Biblical tradition of 'letting go of the past and moving forward'. Being the analytical beast that I am, I thought long and hard on this and came up with several more modern variations of the theme. "Moving forward" - now there was a concept. In what direction, I wondered. The answer to that was quickly answered - if you are "letting go of the past", then certainly moving forward couldn't mean going down the same ol' path could it? This meant shifting the direction I was currently going. The direction of my thinking, the direction health, the direction of my relationships, the direction of my spirituality and personal development - the direction of everything. One year - was that enough time?

My birthday came and went and shortly after that the beginning of a new calendar year as well. Change was in the works...moving forward. One year - was that enough time?

The research began. I thought in terms of moving forward constantly. How? Where? What? Thinking, thinking thinking. As I gathered a few more tidbits from other people about this "Year of Jubilee" there was another line of thought that went along with it. The 'forgiving of debts'. Well, I knew that in this day and age there was not going to be any lender who was going to "forgive me my debts" in the strictest sense of the term but a line from the Lord's Prayer came to the fore front of my thinking "and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us". Good Lord, that was going to be a hard one. But if I was going to 'move forward' certainly forgiveness had to happen - even forgiving myself.

My Year of Jubilee begin with a drastic new hair cut. Short! Oh man! It had been so long and it was so scary to have all my hair chopped off. I felt like I lost a part of me - my femininity had been taken away. With a quick check of my thinking I decided this 'change' was good - it didn't take as long to do and I could retire my baseball hat which had become my 'go to' fix for days when I didn't have time or energy to fight an uncooperative mane. Next came a drop of 33lbs. which needed to be done so I could 'move forward' (following new dreams) in my efforts to be healthier. I had major surgery a few weeks after that which would change my life in big and little ways. It was difficult, but necessary.

In the next months to follow my "moving forward" mantra brought me a new car (it had been 15 years since the last car I'd gotten) and a new job (after being unemployed for a year and a half) and a new home. When things started to move - they moved in succession and it was fast! Slow down Nelly! Whoa!

I've been soooo tired and wrung out - change is good, but it's draining too! I'm so thankful today for this holiday and the chance to sleep in (I slept good for the first time in quite awhile) and to relax and just 'be' - do whatever whenever. Nice.

I've been trying to pay attention to the people that come in and out of my life and the things they do and or say. I'm believing it all happens for a reason. This weekend was no exception. I am so grateful for my kids and grand kids. I relished the morning chat with my daughter in law yesterday - I don't get to see her enough and she is wise beyond her years. A real joy to be around. I have the cutest of cute grand kids - I know that is the chant of every Grandma tho', I'm sure.

I took a quick look today at the Leviticus passage that talks about the Year of Jubilee - and found some interesting elements to it. Ones that I didn't know about but amazingly enough are apropos. One translation says "And let this fiftieth year be kept holy, and say publicly that everyone in the land is free from debt: it is the Jubilee, and every man may go back to his heritage and to his family." Other translations include words like "release", "freedom" and "liberty". Unknowingly, this is exactly what we did. We moved closer to our family so we could be around and involved more with our kids and grand kids. VERY interesting.

I have a few more months left of my "Year of Jubilee" and am excited to see where this forward motion is going to take me next!

Keep calm and carry on!

VIRIDIAN: FROM THE LATIN 'VIRIDIS' - MEANING "GREEN"

Good article I ran across. The Last Viridian Note By Bruce Sterling

You may want to skip over the first 15 or so paragraphs of the article but here are some excerpts I thought were apropos for this time in my life as I cull through music, photographs, dishes, magazines, fabric, and over all "stuff" - I've been going through things for some time but am continuing the process.

1. It's not bad to own fine things that you like. What you need are things that you GENUINELY like. Things that you cherish, that enhance your existence in the world. The rest is dross. ...

2. The things that you use every day should be the best-designed things you can get. For instance, you cannot possibly spend too much money on a bed. ... The same goes for a working chair. Notice it. Take action. Bad chairs can seriously injure you from repetitive stresses. Get a decent ergonomic chair. ...

3. You will need to divide your current possessions into four major categories.

• Beautiful things.
• Emotionally important things.
• Tools, devices, and appliances that efficiently perform a useful function.
• Everything else.

4. "Everything else" will be by far the largest category. ... You should document these things. Take their pictures, their identifying makers' marks, bar codes, whatever, so that you can get them off eBay or Amazon if, for some weird reason, you ever need them again. ... Then remove them from your time and space.

5. Beautiful things are important. If they're truly beautiful, they should be so beautiful that you are showing them to people. They should be on display: you should be sharing their beauty with others. ...

6. All of us have sentimental keepsakes that we can't bear to part with. ... Is this keepsake so very important that you would want to share its story with your friends, your children, your grandchildren? ...

7. You will be told that you should "make do" with broken or semi-broken tools, devices and appliances. Unless you are in prison or genuinely crushed by poverty, do not do this. ... There is nothing more "materialistic" than doing the same household job five times because your tools suck. Do not allow yourself to be trapped in time-sucking black holes of mechanical dysfunction.

THAT WAS THEN, THIS IS NOW

A friend of mine sent me an email today which I found to be excellent - and so true!! I had to just share this - I have taken editorial liberties in places and added my own two cents - but I couldn't resist.

GROWING UP WITHOUT A CELL PHONE

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning....Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda. (Actually I DID have to walk to school (more than a mile and UPHILL but that is beside the point)

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way I was ever going to lay a bunch of garbage like that on my kids or grandkids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a dang Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

For example:

1) When I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog! Do you know the "Dewey Decimal System"? (I do!! for all the good it does me now - however, I can get in and out of a library with what I want in no time at all!) If we want to know a phone number, we looked it up in the phone book! If we wanted a recipe - we looked it up in a cookbook or called "Aunt Marge" or "Gramma Jean" on the telephone and wrote it down!

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents. When we traveled we sent postcards with a photo resembling the place in which were went - the post card usually arrived AFTER we were already home, but there was no snapping a photo with our phone camera, emailing to friends/family and/or posting it to FaceBook for another photo sharing website for all to see!

3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents spanked us or smacked our mouths for using the "F" word. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to discipline the same! Nowhere was safe! Not even school! Yes, that's right! Paddles with present in MOST classrooms and used at least once a week!

4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to ccall the radio station and IF you got through 'beg' the DJ to play your favorite song and then wait around all day on the happenstance that he would so you could tape it off the radio. The DJ would usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up! In the small town I lived in we had a "Record Store" - place that sold record albums and 45 records. They had "listening rooms" where you could go inside, close the door and 'listen' to an album before you bought it!

5) There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our cars. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Ya dig? IF (big IF) you were lucky and your parents could afford it, you might have your own "stereo" in your room which would off course include a LP turn table and a tape or cassette deck.

6) We didn't have fancy phone features like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it! If they wanted to talk to you, they'd keep trying! Then there was the proverbial "Party Line" - where in a effort to save money you would 'share' the same phone line with another family. Some times you'd pick up the phone and you'd have to wait for them to finish before you could use it.

7) Speaking of phones - there were NO CELL PHONES! If you left the house or office, you actually had to be out of touch with your "friends" until you got to another destination with a phone! OH MY GOD! (said in my best "Valley Girl" voice) Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7! There were pay phones on most street corners and in lobbies of hotels, restaurants and the like - you only needed a DIME to make a call! I remember when it went up to 25cents! You always kept a spare quarter tucked away in the glove box or your wallet hidden pocket 'just in case'. I won't even touch the subject of "TEXTING" also known as the "Zombie walk" - hahaha!

8) We didn't have Caller ID. When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances!

9) There were no PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! When I was in school there was "Pinball" machines - later came "Pong" which could be set up in "black and white" on your TV - where a 'cursor' of sorts and two lines that resembled 'paddles' would bounce back and forth across the screen like tennis. We had the Atari 2600 with games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'.. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

10) Now for the subject of television. If you wanted to know what was on TV, you had to use a little book called a TV Guide (which you had to BUY at the store or subscribe to by mail) to find out what was going to be on TV. Channel surfing?? NOT!! There were NO REMOTES!! You had to get off your sorry buttocks and walk over to the TV to change the channel! Here's the biggie - I still remember "black and white only" TV - and rabbit ears! There was no HD or surround sound or Pay Per View or subscription on demand channels. 50" in flat screens? NO WAY! We had "console" TV's that weighed a ton and took at least two large men and a hand truck to bring in the house! Then there was the "Station Sign Off" - remember that? If you're under the age of 30, you probably don't! Stations would often show a static picture of the American Flag and play the national anthem - fat chance of seeing that anymore - you might "offend" someone!!

11) While we're on the subject of TV - let's talk about cartoons! There was no CARTOON Network. You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. You had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, heaven forbid! No instant "baby sitter" for mom's - we actually "played" with each other and with toys and used our imagination!! And then of course there is the subject of the cartoons that were aired and I won't even get started on that!

12) Moving on to the kitchen! My early childhood we had no microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that! Later as I was in high school, microwaves came on the scene but again, they were HUGE and took up half the counter space and they were NOT digital. Again, you had to turn a dial and wait! I asked my grandson once "How do you make popcorn?" and he said (so matter of factly) "In the microwave, of course, Gramma" - I just laughed. I said, did you know you can cook it on the stove or in the fire place? and he said "REALLY?" and I said "REALLY!" (so we did).

13) When we weren't in school or in church, we would be told by our parents to "Go outside and play" - and we did! All day! We rode bicycles, climbed trees and rocks, had make believe stores, schools and even war zones. Pine cones were grenades, mud pies were deserts and large leaves off trees and shrubs were our "money". We built forts, we slept out under the stars on the front lawn in homemade blanket tents and flashlights and we had our transistor radios where we'd stay up listening to stations from Southern California and to music that our folks said was "taboo". There were no electronics to soothe and comfort our boredom....and besides, we all knew that if you went back inside... you were going to be doing chores!

14) Now for the subject of car seats - oh, please! Mom threw us in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment, if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place! We didn't have sippy cups and drink holders - you got a drink before you left and when you got to where you were going you could get a drink then. Public places had drinking fountains and of course Gramma's house had milk and water - no soda!

15) Bicycles. There were no helmets! No knee pads gloves. We just got on and road. If you fell - well, Bactine and BandAids were our first defense and then right back on the bike we got!

These are just a FEW examples of how EASY kids today have got it - spoiled rotten!

Best Regards,

The Over 40 Crowd

THE SUN SHINETH! FINALLY.

The sunshine is finally upon us! Yeah! What an uplifting thing it can be. Another Dr. appt. in a few hours...husband up, weight bearing and walking gingerly with a walking stick. Progress. Now that my time has been freed up some I'll be spending the next few days playing "catch up". Banking, grocery shopping, post office, etc. I'm looking forward to the weekend where I hope to get away and spend some time outside the walls of this domicile.

SIDE TRACKED OR MULTI-TASKER?

Ok, so I had a bazillion projects going on at once - multi-tasker? Last week was a devil of a week - hand holding and babysitting health care providers, ugh! What is wrong with that picture, anyhow? I mean really. These people get paid hoards of $'s and can't even make a return phone call? Patient care? Really? You definately have to be your own advocate. My husband hurt his knee over Christmas vacation and it went from bad to worse. He finally went to see our primary care physician. We waited almost an hour in the lobby (aka 'waiting room') which included the 15 mins we got there early (why, is beyond me). Why is it we make appointments? After being called in to see the Dr. we got about 7 mins with him - and 5 of those minutes were spent listening to his skiing accident story and how he "cured himself" - we left with a referral to a Physical Therapist for twice a week for three weeks.

I'm shaking my head. I knew it wasn't the right decision. PT? You're kidding. What if there was a torn ligament or something? PT might aggravate it. We had x-rays taken first - which was a waste of time to me - but who am I? NOT a Dr., obviously. The x-ray visit was a colossal waste of time - serious - one look at the x-ray and they said "Oh, it's not broken" - well, DUH! WE knew that!! He goes to PT and they basically do an evaluation. He was on the stationery bike for about 10 mins - very slow. He was limping along the house the next day or two, doing 'exercises' to his knee as directed. The next PT appointment came and he went. Within 45 mins I get a phone call saying "come get me" - the man couldn't move! His knee was totally 'locked up' and the PT said "ummm, there isn't anything I can do for you". I picked him up and I killed a few mins and made a Starbucks run for us. The Dr. office didn't open until 9:00 am so we sat in Starbucks parking lot sipping our java and having a bagel/scone. The Dr. office was close to the PT facility so we were trying to save my husband having to get in and out of the truck one time too many.

It's nearing 9 am and we drive up the street to the Dr. office. We pull into the parking lot and I call the receptionist. She then tells me that my husband's Dr. won't be in until 10:00. So back to the house we go. I call at 10:00 - he's not in. I call at 10:30 - he's still not in, however, the receptionist assures me he will take a look at my husband's chart as soon as he gets in. By this time my husband was suppose to be at work - so naturally he had called his employer when we got back to the house to explain what was going on. By 11:00 am I called again and finally sent a fax to the Dr. office requesting a note be faxed over to my husband's employer. We waited a 1/2 hour and checked with the employer. Nothing received. So another call to the Dr.'s office. His primary care gave us a referral to an Orthopedist (which should have happened in my mind after the first appointment with him) and when I called the Orthopedist, they couldn't see my husband until the following Monday (which happens to be today). NO WAY! He was in severe pain, couldn't weight bear and we needed some other option. His primary offered him no pain medication, muscle relaxer or anything. No crutches were offered, no wheelchair rental ordered, NADA!

At this point I'm furious. Time to take matters into my own hands. I got online to our health insurance provider's website and searched for orthopedists in our area. My FIRST phone call landed a clinic that was right up the street and they had an urgent care office where we could see a P.A. - consider that DONE! Within a 1/2 a day we were seen, had an MRI scheduled and later when to have the MRI done. HOWEVER, because of the pain he was in and the muscles spasms he was having, they couldn't get good images and said "come back after you've gotten some medication". Again, that should have happened the FIRST Dr. appointment! Lord have mercy, what a fiasco!

The next morning I called the Orthopedist's office and they prescribed medication for him and rescheduled the MRI for that evening. Given the rigmarole we'd been through, we were still ahead of the game considering his primary care Dr.'s referral couldn't see him until today. We were back at the Orthopedist's the next morning. The MRI came back showing nothing significant and no one could understand what was going on. His knee was better but he was still unable to free stand or weight bear on it.

The last few days he's been moving it more and more. We go back tomorrow to see the Orthopedist and see what further examination of the MRI has to offer.

Despite the healthcare hand holding I did manage to get the blackberry jam made, my closet cleaned out, old LP's recorded to CD, Six dozen cookies baked, a beauty of a pot roast cooked and beef barley vegetable soup made with the left overs. Not to mention the regular routine of laundry, dusting, vacuuming, caring for our animals and taking out the recycling and trash.

I woke up today with a runny nose and cough. Lord I can't wait until the sun begins to shine!

WINTER FUNK

Thrilled as I was to go to Oregon for the Christmas holiday, the weather was so draining - mentally that is. It was raining when we left, it rained (even hailed at times) the ENTIRE time we were in Oregon and it's been raining or overcast a majority of the time since we've been home - which has now been 10 days.

Ugh! I fled Oregon to sunnier pastures in California for that very reason. The dreariness of winter just really gets to me.

I enjoyed having my two oldest grandson's here the week of our return from Oregon - we had a great time being creative and they were such great help to me around the house. We worked at clearing junk from the garage and packed it all in my tiny Mustang and took it to Goodwill for donation.

I've been trying to brighten up my Winter woes with creative gestures here and there - but it's just not working. My brain is in high gear and all I seem to be able to do is get side tracked and start yet another 'idea' without finishing the last one. I've organized, baked, cooked and cleaned. I've crafted and shopped and created dream boards of the things I 'hope' to do some day. As the saying goes, "The natives (native in my case) are restless" - I bought blackberries to can - but need to go to the store and get lids - it's been raining so bad I haven't wanted to go out in the traffic and deal with people's stupid driving abilities in the rain. So they sit in the refrigerator.

I got out material wanting to sew - but have been too lazy to set up the machine! On and on. This sucks. I'm totally wired but not motivated. Quite the contradiction. Oh Mr. Sunshine - where art thou!

A PAUSE FOR REPOSE

I jumped at the idea of 30 Days of Truth; then I read Day One's subject line. I found the topic incredibly daunting and scary. Hence, the delay.

I'm still not sure I'm ready to address that one. A friend of mine said "why don't you just pick another one from the list and begin with it instead?" - Being a more linear thinker and person it was a difficult concept to consider her suggestion. "No, I'll do it in order listed" was my reply. "I may just have to wait a bit". Before I knew it, a "bit" had turned into "later" and "later" had turned into "in awhile" and "in awhile" had turned into "sometime down the road". So, here we are several months after my initial interest and I still have yet to begin. Don't get me wrong, I haven't ignored the subject entirely - I have thought about what my response was going to be several times. I'm not satisfied with anything I came up with.

I decided to quit thinking about it. I decided to just answer the question simply. That in itself was going to be a challenge. Research. Analyze. Reason. Rationale. That's what I do; normally. Not this time. This time I'm just going to get it over with. Simple, straight forward and to the point. No big composition on 'why' or 'how come' and no 'history lesson' to explain the reason for the answer.

Day One: Something You Hate About Yourself

1. I hate that I trust too easily and often get hurt.
2. I hate that I'm over weight.
3. I hate that I am resentful sometimes.
4. I hate that I worry too much about what other people think.

There you have it! For the record, I really don't like the word "hate" - it's so ugly.