FIFTY IS...

I saw this greeting card in the Hallmark aisle at RiteAid and it was another confirmation and affirmation of my Year of Jubilee celebration.

FIFTY IS...Fascinating
FIFTY IS...Freedom and Fun
FIFTY IS...Focused and Fulfilling
FIFTY IS...Following New Dreams
FIFTY IS...Fearless

I turned fifty this year! Yes - 50! I can't believe how fast time has gone. My mother had dropped an intriguing 'bug' in my ear once as I approached my birthday saying "It's your Year of Jubilee" - I asked her "what's that" and she gave me a short re-cap of the Biblical tradition of 'letting go of the past and moving forward'. Being the analytical beast that I am, I thought long and hard on this and came up with several more modern variations of the theme. "Moving forward" - now there was a concept. In what direction, I wondered. The answer to that was quickly answered - if you are "letting go of the past", then certainly moving forward couldn't mean going down the same ol' path could it? This meant shifting the direction I was currently going. The direction of my thinking, the direction health, the direction of my relationships, the direction of my spirituality and personal development - the direction of everything. One year - was that enough time?

My birthday came and went and shortly after that the beginning of a new calendar year as well. Change was in the works...moving forward. One year - was that enough time?

The research began. I thought in terms of moving forward constantly. How? Where? What? Thinking, thinking thinking. As I gathered a few more tidbits from other people about this "Year of Jubilee" there was another line of thought that went along with it. The 'forgiving of debts'. Well, I knew that in this day and age there was not going to be any lender who was going to "forgive me my debts" in the strictest sense of the term but a line from the Lord's Prayer came to the fore front of my thinking "and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us". Good Lord, that was going to be a hard one. But if I was going to 'move forward' certainly forgiveness had to happen - even forgiving myself.

My Year of Jubilee begin with a drastic new hair cut. Short! Oh man! It had been so long and it was so scary to have all my hair chopped off. I felt like I lost a part of me - my femininity had been taken away. With a quick check of my thinking I decided this 'change' was good - it didn't take as long to do and I could retire my baseball hat which had become my 'go to' fix for days when I didn't have time or energy to fight an uncooperative mane. Next came a drop of 33lbs. which needed to be done so I could 'move forward' (following new dreams) in my efforts to be healthier. I had major surgery a few weeks after that which would change my life in big and little ways. It was difficult, but necessary.

In the next months to follow my "moving forward" mantra brought me a new car (it had been 15 years since the last car I'd gotten) and a new job (after being unemployed for a year and a half) and a new home. When things started to move - they moved in succession and it was fast! Slow down Nelly! Whoa!

I've been soooo tired and wrung out - change is good, but it's draining too! I'm so thankful today for this holiday and the chance to sleep in (I slept good for the first time in quite awhile) and to relax and just 'be' - do whatever whenever. Nice.

I've been trying to pay attention to the people that come in and out of my life and the things they do and or say. I'm believing it all happens for a reason. This weekend was no exception. I am so grateful for my kids and grand kids. I relished the morning chat with my daughter in law yesterday - I don't get to see her enough and she is wise beyond her years. A real joy to be around. I have the cutest of cute grand kids - I know that is the chant of every Grandma tho', I'm sure.

I took a quick look today at the Leviticus passage that talks about the Year of Jubilee - and found some interesting elements to it. Ones that I didn't know about but amazingly enough are apropos. One translation says "And let this fiftieth year be kept holy, and say publicly that everyone in the land is free from debt: it is the Jubilee, and every man may go back to his heritage and to his family." Other translations include words like "release", "freedom" and "liberty". Unknowingly, this is exactly what we did. We moved closer to our family so we could be around and involved more with our kids and grand kids. VERY interesting.

I have a few more months left of my "Year of Jubilee" and am excited to see where this forward motion is going to take me next!

Keep calm and carry on!